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I haven't blogged for quite a while. Holiday seasons are very difficult for me for reasons I will not disclose. One of the best things we can do as loving human beings is to drop all of our selfishness, our competitiveness, forget about NASCAR, NFL, NBA and really, truly, look into the mirror and ask yourself, "Is this the person I really am, or could I do more?"

Later,
–Kirk

Something Must Be Done

Dear Senator Wyden;

This email is being sent to you as the Social Security Administration is on the federal level but I am also contacting our governor, John Kitzhaber, as the Child Support Program is on the state level. I am disabled and receive Supplemental Security Income. The SSA encourages individuals to obtain gainful employment as much as possible. I receive $721 per month in SSI. I visited the website and called the SSA about returning to work, part time, as much as my personal disability will allow. I learned that any money I earn will be deducted from my SSI income

Here’s the tricky part; I owe several thousand dollars in back child support. This cannot be deducted from my SSI but up to 50% can be garnished from any earned income that I receive. This ultimately means I would need to work full time, which I cannot, and earn $14 per hour to break even to what I receive from SSI. I strive to better myself, and be an asset instead of a liability, but these circumstances prevent it.

Thank You,
Robert Kirk Toncray

Work Together

Many of us have experienced things in life that put us into positions where we really don’t want to be. One of those positions is loneliness. We've all faced it; through divorce, death, or any loss that melts your heart until it hurts so bad you want to tip your head forward and cry. Sometimes the words don’t fit. Sometimes we are too busy to listen to ourselves and to others.

There is a thought that occurred to me that maybe we can re-focus. We are all good. We are all given the gift of an intelligent mind. We all can pull ourselves together to make this world a better place for everyone.

Despite the politics that occurred last season at Egan Warming Centers, by-golly it’s time for someone like me to stand up and shake that wonderful program back into shape!

Let’s work together. Make this happen. The cold season is around the corner.

Understanding

There are many factors that make ordinary people function in different ways. One of which is the capacity to understand what reality is and what is running through a person’s mind, some of which are untrue and only visible to the person who owns that mind.

Sometimes, actually, most of the time, things get all out of whack where day-to-day living becomes more of a nightmare than actually relieving the frustrations that may enter the mind. Let’s face it, we, as people, live like we are dumber than a box of rocks. If you dig into that box, you will find an intelligent person who will simply nod his/her head then continue with the task at hand.

Publishing a good book is very much the same. I was at a total loss as how to deal with certain things in my life when a publisher called about TOTAL DISCHARGE and when I will have the manuscript ready.

Those people are HUNGRY for publishable material.

Go get it folks; let your story be available worldwide.

Enough counseling;

Until Next Time,

Kirk Toncray

Book Signings are Unpredictable

As many of you know, local authors united and held a book signing in June. There were seven of us at the signing which was held at a St. Vincent DePaul location here in Eugene, Oregon. We all prepared well for the event–making sure we had adequate supplies of books, preparing for credit/debit card sales, ironing our Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes, and putting on our happy faces, but the turnout didn’t muster up the numbers we had all hoped for.

People are still asking me how the signing went and I respond by telling them, “Good.” That really isn’t true as it didn’t go well at all. Each author sold a book, maybe two. The reason for this is very simple. Location. People go to St. Vincent DePaul to purchase cheap books. Used books are obviously less expensive than new books and there is no shortage of titles to choose from. Since all we had were new books for sale, (much more expensive), we just could not compete even though our books would be signed by the author with the opportunity to chat and visit with seven authors. Even the free refreshments only lured in a few visitors but they didn’t go to waste. We all enjoyed the goodies.

This is not to say that all book signings are the same. A famous author, C. Hope Clark, which I have chatted with many times, explained to me years ago that book signings are unpredictable. Some go quite well with others being a total flop.

I will close by saying that I will attend any book signing that comes my way regardless of past experiences. I will keep a positive attitude and keep looking forward to meeting people and having a good time answering any questions that may come up.

Until next time,

Kirk Toncray

Website under construction

It's Not Easy

It’s been a long spell since my last post – is that getting old or what? –  I don’t really know how to begin except for dive in head first.

Writing Beyond the Signs is becoming more and more difficult as time goes by. There are people who are jerking my shirt-tail, asking; When is your next book coming? The truth is, I don’t know. Life has many curve balls and the pitcher is tilting an eye, signaling a drop ball at any moment.

swing, batta, batta, batta, batta, SWING!

Oh well, my heart still beats; the sun still rises every morning, (even though sometimes the clouds hide it); birds still chirp, and Beyond the Signs is still in the making.

It takes a great deal of effort to write something that has no conclusion. With novels, it really doesn’t matter. With a book that contains all truth, well, it’s an entirely different story. When a writer involves things that are intimate and close to the heart, sometimes focus becomes oblique. That is what is happening here:

My friend, Lisa Cissna, is in pain and lost her loved one, Robert, in a tragic motorcycle accident. This puts one more chapter in Beyond the Signs as she and others struggle through traumatic episodes that life puts us all through.

God bless you, Lisa.

I’ll stop being selfish and leave it there.

Until next time,

-Kirk Toncray

Temporary Website:

REGRETS and Working through Them

Regrets

I haven’t posted a blog for quite some time. My mom passed away less than two weeks ago and I have feelings that I never knew existed before. My mom was such a special person; she never gave up on me; inspired my writing; enforced true values, and helped so many people who thought their lives weren’t worth a shit.

So many times did I stand on the street corner, flying a sign, and here came either a red Ford Escort or a white Lincoln Town Car, when it was my mom. She didn’t want anything but the best for everyone out there in the pouring rain and bitter cold to be fed and be safe. She gave clothes and boots to so many people in need and wanted absolutely nothing in return.

I turned my back many times on my mom, thinking she was only out to be judgmental and turn her nose up. I ran from the sight of her. Now I wish she was here with me as I continue my books.

Now the shoe is on the other foot and I realize what her and my dad were set out to do.

Every time I turn a corner, on the bus, in a car, or on foot, I find things about her that I will miss forever.

I haven’t written in Beyond the Signs for several months and I believe this is a big reason.
On the other hand there is a publisher who is seriously considering an excellent contract concerning TOTAL DISCHARGE. Publishing a book is a huge hassle and careful consideration is best. Mom was very good at that, as well as many, many other things.

I already know where this dedication is going...

This is part of the last chapter. (The language is a spicy so be prepared):

*********************************************************************************

“Nice to meet you, Moe.”

“I CAN HEAR YOU…I CAN HEAR MYSELF!”

“Taint fo long do; white boy, dat mudda fucka is a cumin again.”

Half frightened out of his wits, Brandon reached out to a hand. It felt like a leather baseball mitt, and shook the third and fourth finger of a hand, a promising hand, a hand from above.

“I’m here to hep you boys. Ain’t nuttin’ gunna change till we find dat mudda fuka and find the peach pie for his plan.”

   Brandon, looking into bloodshot eyes, jerked hard enough to slowly, painfully, release the man’s huge, bloody fingers from the intense grasp.

“How do you suppose we do that?”

“Don’t patronize me, white boy. We gots a job to do.”

“I’m sorry, Moe. It’s been one hell of a week.”

“Tell me ‘bout it. I gots an ingrown on my left ‘biggen that dat makes me limp like a three legged dog. Don’t you be a tellin me nuttin ‘bout pain.”

“Okay, Moe, you seem to have an insight on what has happened. How do we stop this bastard from striking again?”

Moe suddenly became very serious. “I've been with the N.S.A., working under cover for over twelve years. I know who he is and what his plans have been and are. Inside every module he drops, he hides a video camera. It links via satellite directly to him. We find that camera, we send a message to him. He knows me. He knows how I like my toast in the morning. He knows how many cubes of sugar I like in my coffee. He knows that I know him better than he knows himself. Let’s go tear that thing apart, find the video uplink, and send the dirty bastard a strong message.”

Totally bewildered, Brandon’s eyebrows reached his own receding hairline. Nodding his head, he asked his new friend, “What is your real name?”

“James Moses Bend. Just call me Jim from now on, okay?”

“Okay, Jim. Let’s go see what we can do.”


Until Next Time,
Kirk Toncray
toncrayrk@gmail.com

The Rope

The Rope

Hello Everyone,

It’s been a while since I have the possibility to blog. For this, I apologize. Let’s get on with it, Okay?

We all have ropes to climb. Sometimes our grasp lets go and we fall directly on our asses. It hurts for a spell but it ain’t…(oops, proper English, here – Thank You Karen Meyers) isn’t worth a shit if there is no pain. Rope can cause a deep, painful sensation that will cause a person to use the weight on top of their shoulders for something other than a counterweight for our weight-gaining butts.

When we climb that damned rope, ignore the pain(s) in our ass and keep going upward and achieve the goals we have focused on.

When it rains, it pours, making that fricken rope even slicker. Keep climbing, the rope can't bee that out of reach.

Ugh!

Until Next Time,
Kirk Toncray-Author

Short and Sweet

Due to demand for si-fi books being greater than memoir or autobiography, I have altered the focus of my work to my hard science fiction story, Total Discharge. I will resume writing Beyond the Signs after I complete my novel. Another reason I decided to focus my attention on Total Discharge is I can see where the story will have a conclusion. Beyond the Signs has no foreseeable conclusion, therefore making it one of the more difficult books to write.

Until next time,

Kirk Toncray

(website under construction)

Food Stamps

When it comes to people helping people, some fade in and some fade out. It seems the ones who are well-off, the ones who fade out, are the ones who make the decisions which are based upon their own experience. When it gets right down to the nitty-gritty, who should be making those decisions, the rich? – Hell no! They already have a warm place to sleep, a bathroom to piss in when morning comes, and FOOD TO EAT.

It came upon me today when a very dear friend who volunteers relentlessly for non-profit organizations that help homeless persons. This person struggles to make ends meet, but still does the duty of volunteering time, especially during harsh weather conditions. This person does an excellent job of placing food on the table, even when funds are very low.

This person was turned away for 5 days for a replacement EBT, SNAP, ‘Food Stamp’ card because the one in use was misplaced. The new card must now be mailed, instead of issuing one on the spot at DHS. (The way it used to be). We all know how that story goes… Government agencies suck. Luckily, this person will not starve. This person is stringing along by the skin of teeth but maintains an apartment, with heat, and a refrigerator with some food to eat.

What about homeless persons who do not have an address for a new card to be mailed to? What about them? What should they do? Answer me that, big-shot government people. Chew on that donut and wash that one down with your Starbucks!

What the HELL is going on here? To all of you that vote, take a good, solid look at what is really going on. If you are one of those who think food stamps should be eliminated because some people are lazy, my email address is posted below. Give me a holler. Make sure you give me your return address. You WILL hear back!

Until Next Time,

Kirk Toncray

toncrayrk@gmail.com