Short and Sweet

Due to demand for si-fi books being greater than memoir or autobiography, I have altered the focus of my work to my hard science fiction story, Total Discharge. I will resume writing Beyond the Signs after I complete my novel. Another reason I decided to focus my attention on Total Discharge is I can see where the story will have a conclusion. Beyond the Signs has no foreseeable conclusion, therefore making it one of the more difficult books to write.

Until next time,

Kirk Toncray

(website under construction)

Food Stamps

When it comes to people helping people, some fade in and some fade out. It seems the ones who are well-off, the ones who fade out, are the ones who make the decisions which are based upon their own experience. When it gets right down to the nitty-gritty, who should be making those decisions, the rich? – Hell no! They already have a warm place to sleep, a bathroom to piss in when morning comes, and FOOD TO EAT.

It came upon me today when a very dear friend who volunteers relentlessly for non-profit organizations that help homeless persons. This person struggles to make ends meet, but still does the duty of volunteering time, especially during harsh weather conditions. This person does an excellent job of placing food on the table, even when funds are very low.

This person was turned away for 5 days for a replacement EBT, SNAP, ‘Food Stamp’ card because the one in use was misplaced. The new card must now be mailed, instead of issuing one on the spot at DHS. (The way it used to be). We all know how that story goes… Government agencies suck. Luckily, this person will not starve. This person is stringing along by the skin of teeth but maintains an apartment, with heat, and a refrigerator with some food to eat.

What about homeless persons who do not have an address for a new card to be mailed to? What about them? What should they do? Answer me that, big-shot government people. Chew on that donut and wash that one down with your Starbucks!

What the HELL is going on here? To all of you that vote, take a good, solid look at what is really going on. If you are one of those who think food stamps should be eliminated because some people are lazy, my email address is posted below. Give me a holler. Make sure you give me your return address. You WILL hear back!

Until Next Time,

Kirk Toncray

toncrayrk@gmail.com

Sharing

Exhaustion comes pretty darn close but dedication comes even closer. Our recent activations at the Egan Warming Centers brought out the heart that exists in all of us. It not only exists within the dedicated volunteers on staff, but also the many guests that have nowhere else to go. When temperatures reach dangerous levels, these persons know what it’s like to live in pure ice-cold-Hell. For the most part, these persons don’t complain. These persons just want, need, and deserve a safe, warm place to sleep. Some hot food and an ear to listen does wonders too.

To all those who care, and guests far and near, remember who you really are and join us. 

Beyond the Signs – Chapter 8 excerpt

Responsibilities and Issues

Even though my life seemed to be moving in a positive way and things were working out the way they should, I never once left behind the thought that at any given time, something could go afoul and muster a world of dust. What I mean is reality. No matter how much a person tries to avoid reality, it never goes away. Just when it seems like everything is fine and dandy, something will inevitably jump up and bite you right in the ass.

I have never been fond of banks. Past experience has led me to believe that they are just not trustworthy. At this point, I must at least have a checking account so I figured; what the hell. I might as well have a savings account too. That ran into problems which I never anticipated. I learned really fast that when automatic payments are set-up, that money must be in the proper account on time. If it’s not, well, penalties are a sure thing.

This is when I realized how little responsibility I had during the years I was homeless. Basically, there were no bills that I could manage because I had no money. I could name all my outstanding debts on one hand and have fingers left over. True, those are fairly large bills and there was no way in Hell I could pay on them so unfortunately they never reduced but instead increased in size due to interest. The good part is I didn’t need to worry about the bills. The bad part – now I feel that I must pay on them since I do have income.

When a person is homeless, and the only income gained is from flying a sign or working under-the-table jobs, money goes for items used for survival. Comfort items are another item that are often overlooked, such as deodorant, toothpaste, and items that ordinarily would be considered hygiene. True, a large portion of the money goes towards non-necessities, but for the most part it’s for sleeping bags, clothing, food, whatever is needed for the basics.

I shopped around and found a bank that I felt comfortable with so I had a checking and savings account established. Since I was still fresh off the streets, I bit off a little more than I could chew. The reality alarm sounded when ordering items online and using a debit card, while signing up for direct payment on many monthly bills, all collectively formed a fricken mess. Even though I had money in the bank, there were times when it just simply didn’t cross my mind to transfer funds from savings to checking to cover all of my purchases. It doesn’t take long to realize that the end of the month rolls around rather quickly. By the third month of having my bank accounts, website, cellular phone, etc., I visited my online checking account balance and found it in the red, highlighting a shit-pile of thirty-five dollar overdraft fees. Fortunately, my overdraft protection paid these bills so I never received any of those lovely notices that state; Insufficient Funds. A quick click or two of my computer mouse generated a fund transfer from savings to checking to rectify the foul-up but the fact still remained that the bank had paid these bills and also stuck me for over a hundred bucks for doing so. Damn that hurt.

This happened a second time when I found myself standing in front of the cashier at my favorite department store. Talk about embarrassed, I felt like I was on top of the world, sporting decent clothes and nice boots, whipping out my debit card like it was some sort of fashion statement. Well, to me it was. Heck, I had never even used one, even before I went homeless. I thought; I’m right up with the big boys now, by golly! Then came the disappointing words from the cashier, right in front of God and everybody, “Sir, this card has been declined.”

Shit!

I could feel my face turning four different shades of red, including purple, as I tucked tail and headed out the door. I never looked behind me until I hopped on the bus. After swapping money around at the bank, I jumped back on the bus, went back to the same store and gathered the same items. I made damn sure I found the same cashier to check my items. I don’t really think it made a rat’s ass in Honky-Town to the cashier or to anyone else that I did have money, but it sure did make me feel better to whip out that damn debit card and pay for those items.

Until next time,

Kirk Toncray

WEBSITE

The Need is Great

Compassion for the Homeless:

Reality of homeless situations really comes into play as the cold season unexpectedly hits. Many persons aren’t as prepared for nasty weather as one would like to be, furthering the basic survival needs such as a warm place to sleep. Our last cold spell just took place, just after Thanksgiving of this year. In our area, we set record low temperatures night after night, forcing warming centers to stay open longer and earlier than anticipated.

In our area, this ultimately meant depleting a large portion of the budget and placing a great deal of strain on our volunteer staff. With the official beginning of winter being on December 21, we were 18 days ahead of the solstice. A quick check of The Farmer’s Almanac reveals data which states a colder than usual winter ahead with a higher chance of snow in our region.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this means we are in for a real doozy. With the money gone, and resources nearly depleted, in means an urgent meeting for the leadership of our group, the Egan Warming Center network, to search for alternative methods of funding for our mission of saving lives during potentially fatal cold nights.

With this being said, hopefully there will be some help from local businesses as well as the general public to recognize the urgent need for these types of organizations so they can stay in operation during the coldest, deadliest part of the year. In short, ‘tis the season for giving, and personally, I can’t think of a better way to contribute than offer a little compassion for those who need it the most.

Until next time,

Kirk Toncray

WEBSITE

Never a Dull Moment

It seems like every holiday season brings up new and challenging situations. This year seems to be a little busier than the past years for me. Several factors are in this equation, the most serious of which are one; my mom is scheduled for major surgery the week of Thanksgiving, and two; my grandmother (on my mom’s side) passed away early this morning. If that’s not enough, the weather has to pull a nasty and toss a few gnarly tornadoes into the area where my grandmother and most of my mom’s family live.

A quick look at the Egan Warming Center website shows me that the average temperature from all data collected means temperatures at 28 degrees for Wednesday night. That means we will probably activate the warming centers to lower the risk of homeless persons freezing to death during the night. With all that said, here’s an excerpt from Behind the Signs about cold temperatures and some of the things homeless persons must deal with for survival.

Behind the Signs – Chapter 3

  

    I needed something to lie on and cover me so I went on a cardboard hunt. I walked behind the supermarket and found just what I needed. I scored one large box, kind of thick, and one that was thinner but larger to use as a cover. I carried the cardboard over to the makeshift sleeping area and proceeded to make a bed. My pillow consisted of an oval shaped river rock about eight inches long and five inches in diameter. It was the perfect size. It wasn't soft, it was a rock of course, but at least it was some elevation for my head.

    After I had everything in place I went for a walk around the area. After that I walked over to McDonald’s to warm up and use their facilities one last time before returning to my new found comfort zone for what would be a night of cold, wet sleep.

    The rain drops on the cardboard kept a constant enough rhythm to put me to sleep. I was exhausted anyway so sleep came relatively easily. When my bladder wakened me that it was time to pee, I rolled out from under the cardboard to discover that I was sleeping under a white blanket of snow. I finished my business and crawled back underneath and fell back asleep. I woke up again at daylight and figured the best thing to do would be pick up all the cardboard and place it back in the recycle bin before things got busy. After that I walked over to the mini-mart for a cup of hot coffee, taking as long as possible to warm up as much as I could.

If you've ever been in a similar situation, leave a comment. We'd love to hear your story.

Until Next Time,

Kirk Toncray

WEBSITE

Beyond the Signs | Part II

Chapter 6: Frustrations (Second Half)

Paying for the Trespassing III citation brought up an interesting scenario. My parents approached me about this citation and the upcoming court appearance, subsequently offering to pay for the ridiculous four-hundred and something dollar ticket. Not having a dime to my name, literally, I was somewhat forced into this generous offering, knowing at the same time that it was only going to toss more and more eggshells in my path. It did.

On the day of the hearing, I dressed up in clothing that mom and dad had purchased for me and prepared for the worst. Entering any courtroom is always a pleasant experience so I was already sweating like a whore in church by the time the judge walked into the courtroom and the famous words were spoken: All Rise.

As the proceedings began, alphabetically of course, I could feel my heart pounding. I just knew I was just about due for another hammering over the damn child support thing and the way the system is all linked together, I figured I was headed from the courthouse to the jail – I have been there and done that.

Surprisingly, when my turn came up, my so-called attorney, whom I had never met, told me to not say a thing until spoken to by the judge. When it came down to the nuts and bolts of the case, the judge asked if I was working. My attorney said, “Mr. Toncray is not working due to a disability and awaiting results from an appeal from Social Security.”

The judge looked at the District Attorney, who in turn was looking at me, and then he spun his head and focused on my posture and eye contact. He then asked me, “Do you have an attorney for your Social Security Appeal?”

“No, your honor, I do not.” The wavering words slipped from my trembling lips.

“To be successful with an appeal with Social Security, you will need an attorney. Nine out of ten cases will be turned down without an attorney,” the judge informed me.

My eyes must have been as big as golf balls. I was absolutely astonished at the sincerity of the judge and his advice. He was actually helping me with a totally unrelated issue instead of hammering me with the citation. Feeling uncomfortable is an understatement. Judges are supposed to mean, uncaring assholes who only want to screw up your life even more, not help you, I thought.

I left the courthouse unscathed and more educated on methods to win a case with The Social Security Administration. Accepted my parents’ check, paid my trespassing fine in full, and went online to find a suitable attorney. Upon a diligent search, I found a firm based in Utah ant responded to my email in a timely fashion with utmost professionalism so I chose them for my case.

Attempting to complete Behind the Signs was challenging and I was becoming more and more frustrated with my living circumstances. I needed to speak with Beth about the final chapters and what actually happened. At the same time, assist my attorneys any way I could. Ultimately, this gave me an open door to hop on the bus and head for the employment office where there are computers with high-speed internet. My dad was saving a few bucks by retaining his old dial-up internet service and nobody could persuade him otherwise. When there are important issues on the line, waiting for dial-up internet service is not the way to go. It’s like trying to sink a boat using pea gravel. You will eventually get it done, but plan on spending some time doing it. I utilized this time to contact Beth and make notes on the final chapters and send and receive documents from my attorneys.

Until Next Time,
Kirk Toncray
WEBSITE