Open our ears

It saddens me when people get so hung up in their own ways that listening doesn’t even exist. What happened to opened ears? If we all would just put our own selfishness aside, maybe we could change things. It won’t happen though until we shut our own mouths and open our ears and our minds.

Until next time,
Kirk Toncray
WEBSITE

Listen or Hear

This isn’t anything new; I just think it’s appropriate. Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives that we forget who we are talking to or the depth the short conversation may lead. Here’s an example. Bear with me; I’m a former Diesel Mechanic.

I was watching a lowboy hauling a log loader turn the corner with a flagger in front and a flagger behind. The ‘Oversize Load’ signs were up and as the driver rounded the corner, he was talking on his CB and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t ordering pizza. He was gaining information about his load. It may have shifted, come loose, etc. It could have been a real mess.

The flaggers weren’t just listening to the words that were flowing on that frequency; they were hearing what was said.

So many times in life we pick and choose what we absorb without allowing the true message to penetrate. I’m guilty, and so are you. When we walk by someone, do we say, “How’s it going?” just because it seems to be the friendly thing to do or stop and actually wait for a reply? Do we listen to the response or hear it?

Giving speeches is a blessing that is no doubt one of the best ways for me to gain awareness of homeless persons. I have gotten response from my last speech and it seems the audience has heard the words, not just listened.

Until later,
Kirk Toncray
WEBSITE

Substance Abuse

I wasn’t going to do this but I figured it’s worthwhile. After speaking with a person whom I have known for quite some time, and swears up and down against judgment, that person’s true colors showed during a recent conversation.

I don’t recall how it got this far but this particular person still has it in focus that all homeless persons either drink or use drugs, or both. This is simply not true and trying to explain this to someone who just-will-not-listen is next to impossible.

Even though it is true that a large percentage of less fortunate individuals do use one or the other, or both, the reasons for this should be clear to anyone who has read the last chapter of Behind the Signs.

Without going further, I’ll just post part of the last chapter so you can decide for yourself.

I know that overlapped a bit but give me a break. It's 2:00 in the morning. The first full paragraph contains the information that this post is all about.

 

Until Next Time,
Kirk Toncray
WEBSITE



Lying People

A situation tonight spawned this post:

A common myth is that homeless persons are a bunch of lying individuals who have no morals whatsoever. I hope this helps break that myth.

In actuality, homeless persons may pass an occasional bullshit story; even stretch the truth at times to an incredible level that only a man on the moon would understand. Basically, this is out of boredom and the need for making a good afternoon out of the same old day to day stuff that is required to survive.

Let’s take a look at the “common” person for a switch. How many ‘white lies’ does it take for it to become unjustified?

Here’s a few: Not answering the phone, (screening calls via answering machine or caller ID); Making cheap excuses for not attending that party or luncheon; how about avoiding a situation altogether just because you didn’t really want to see a particular person? What about the times you didn’t answer the door because your favorite show was playing or you were just too damn lazy?

Of the many homeless persons I have met, the word ‘welcome’ means welcome.

Makes a person think now doesn’t it?

Until Next Time,
Kirk Toncray
WEBSITE

Slow Down and Change?

It’s been a while since I wrote on this blog and for that I apologize. It's been a little crazy lately and I will make no more excuses than this:

I had been working diligently on a speech to give at a local college on the effects of homelessness and how to avoid getting into such a mess in the first place. In that process, I managed not only to drain myself of energy and funding, (don't ask), I managed to lose a friend as well. We had only been friends for a few months but it hurt deeply all the same.

I also found my ass in the hospital after a massive seizure and a huge gash in the back of my head because I neglected to take my medication. I was told in the hospital to start eating properly and quit eating at Micky-Dees, just because it was fast and convenient. After the speech at the college was over, I ate a small meal at home, had a bowl of ice cream, let the doggie lick the bowl, then immediately went to bed. This was about 7:00 and I didn't wake up until about 10:00 the next morning.

I am now told by a dear friend, who also just so happens to be a pastor, to SLOW DOWN, and that I am taking on too much. Here's the problem: If I slow down and laze off, who's going to take up the slack? The homeless persons out there can't just give up because they get a little tired. In NASCAR if the car is pushing a little in the turns and the driver pits while running in the front of the pack, the car owner is going to have a very serious talk with that driver.

I took the day off today, well, yesterday. The only thing I did was go and get a new modem because the old one failed and there was no internet connection. No problem, three connections and a call to Comcast for a reset and all is well.

I have an appointment tomorrow, today,  to get the staples pulled out and more than likely get my ass chewed from my personal physician. My grandma has surgery, and numerous things need attention. As far as rest goes, I guess one day is too much. I’m sure you’ve been there too.

Until Next Time,
Kirk Toncray
WEBSITE

Bridging the Gap

There’s little doubt that society would like to see homelessness disappear but let’s face the fact that it’s not. There are a few programs already in place, some that have taken shape and failed, and some that are still in the process of basic structure. Currently, there are plans of building a small community of Conestoga huts so persons would have some sort of safe structure to temporarily live in while moving forward in their lives.

Here’s where the problem comes in. After speaking with one of the leaders of a local organization and asking how I can be of assistance, I went out to retrieve more information on this type of approach and I found exactly what I thought I would find. Some of this information was obtained directly from a homeless person:

Even though most homeless persons are mindset on being more productive with their lives and carry the desire to better themselves, some are perfectly content as long as there are basic necessities for sustainment. This becomes a real issue when it comes time to decide who gets what.

Definition of Opportunity: 1) A set of circumstances that make it possible to do something. 2) A chance for employment or promotion.

The funds for providing proper shelter in an environment similar to most persons in a working community are extremely limited so if just anybody is allowed to utilize these accommodations, someone is going to be left out. There has to be some way to filter between the chronic homeless and the persons who will put the programs to use the way they are intended.

Here’s the real issue. Nobody wants to be the bad guy, or the judge, and say, “You can stay and you cannot.”

No matter how you slice it, someone is going to get pissed off and throw a fit. People who are living on the streets struggle daily and tossing in a judgment such as that may add even more fuel to an existing attitude that’s on the teetering edge of uncontrollable anger. This makes building a bridge to close the gap from homelessness to productive lives that much more of a challenge.

If you have any thoughts or ideas on this issue and can find a resolution, please leave a comment so I can pass it along.

Until next time,
Kirk Toncray
WEBSITE

 

First Impressions Never Leave

In order to put the title of this post into context, I’ll dive right in and give a perfect example of how a few inconsiderate individuals can add fuel to an existing fire regarding stereotypes of the homeless. This happens so frequently that it’s little wonder even the cleanest and most caring of  less fortunate individuals get a bum rap.

I was not only shocked, but completely embarrassed as well when I took the friendly staff from Flux Magazine up to one of my old camping areas. I hadn’t been up in this particular area for about six, maybe seven years and I was overwhelmed at the bitter sight that filled not only my eyes, but the eyes of the people I was with as well.

In a nutshell, when a person is homeless, and it seems like nobody cares, it’s very difficult to give a damn about anything. This is a fact. I’ve been there. However, back in the days of my homelessness, and spending time with other homeless persons as well, we always managed to give enough ‘damn’ to keep a somewhat clean camp area. It’s not that difficult.

If a person takes a bag of whatever up to camp, consumes the whatever, the only effort required to maintain a neat and tidy campsite is toss the garbage back into the bag that it came in and simply carry it out with you the next day. It’s really that simple. Why can’t everyone do this and make the world a better place?

Here’s a picture that will hopefully deter some of the stereotypes of homeless camps. If you’ve paid attention to my website, you’ve seen this before:

I am hoping at least one of the team members from Flux Magazine reads this post in order to accept my apologies on behalf of the responsible homeless persons who are still out there and still give a half a damn.

Until next time,
Kirk Toncray
WEBSITE